It has been said that I can be stubborn and hard headed. This has in fact been evident in some of my transitional phases with ALS. For example delaying the use of certain tool’s or interventions. Today instead of my wife convincing me to adopt a tool it was another voice.

Who’s voice, you ask? Well, it was mine.

Some time ago, while being showered, or rather after my shower, I was struck with unexplainable fear, genuine dread. I was paralyzed with fear as I stood in the shower attempting to walk out with my rolator (walker). What was it that filled me with dread? Falling, I lost my confidence in my own legs, in being able to control the rolator. I literally couldn’t make my legs move.

I realized after reflecting on the incident, that it was my body speaking to me. This was not a whisper in my ear. It was a clear resounding message from me to me..

So thereafter I broke down and used the shower wheelchair. A multifaceted contraption that can double as a bedside toilet. This allowed a safe shower, minimizing my anxiety and reducing exertion. I know, I should have adopted this much earlier, but I was reluctant to give in, stubborn.

My message here is; listen to your inner voice and your body when they speak to you.

Especially when they use fear to make you listen. Don’t delay or avoid safe practices when it comes to your ALS progression. The last thing I want is to traumatize my family, by having to pick up dad from the shower floor.

TJ&O