I didn’t see myself here, at this point, in this way.
I saw Meg and I, now that she has retired, preparing our first and subsequent destination to hit with our RV. Or traveling the world with and without the kids. We had even toyed with the idea of working overseas, or fostering/adopting more children. Anything but this and what’s to come.
You can plan all you want, many plans, simple plans, complex detailed plans. What happens when those plans don’t pan out? Does your world collapse, universe implode or do you shrug it off? One can plan for many contingencies, in the course of our lives “recalculating” is inevitable. What is one to do?
For me, I must put my trust and faith in God, not an easy task, we are creatures hell bent on controlling everything. I have no control over my ALS, only how I respond to it. How I respond effects how others also respond; my family and friends. I can influence the pace of my progression with available treatments and the quality of my life, but little more.
So I choose to plan on living as best I can, one day at a time for as long as I am given. I see this now, this is where I am at this point, in this way.